Story of a tape…not anymore at walking distance, part 3

When I sent out the tweet with the message “one more retweet from the Kenny Lynch Party and I will ask him to release a rant tape on staaltape” I meant exactly what I had written.

Damian felt threatened. He felt pushed into silence. He was in a completely different mood, fuelled by righteous anger. He was part of a group that didn’t “tolerate transphobe or homophobe speech, sexism, racism and any other violent expression, verbal or non-verbal.” These are not my words. I have copy/pasted it directly from the page where he defines my release ‘a misprint.’

In the years 2008-2012 I lived in the Weserstrasse in Berlin. I saw it change into a booming street full of small bars, restaurants, galleries, ateliers. Some bars had a sign at the door. It said that homophobes, racists, sexists and a couple of other categories that I have forgotten about were not welcome. I always found the message very strange. Why put it up on your door? Did it mean that sexists and racists went to the bar across the street?

D. had asked for my book Deep Poland. He could have come across chapter three, Talking about Possibilities. You find it published here. Read it and you will meet some of my views on alt-right and other current developments in society.

This group thing, that Damian was part of, was something different. The indignation and the need to protect the ideology was so strong that it blocked one faculty of his mind: curiosity. He reacted out of fear instead. Inside the group there is a strong sense of moral justice. If you go against the oath, you are the other. That constitutes the moral pressure among the members, and it generates the fear to be kicked out of the group and the disgust for the other.

In the case that I came aware of through the retweets there was something that I didn’t like. First I thought that it was a personal conflict. In my tweet (see above) I asked for one more retweet. D. sent out a few of them, all with the same message. So here was a group acting as the moral instance of the niche I move in. I contacted Kenny and proposed a release. I had passed a line, as Damian described so very precise.

But what line?

More in part 4.

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Story of a tape…not anymore at walking distance, part 2

The contact with Damian can illustrate my networking activities.

Together with Adrian Shephard we played tapes from his label and talked about it on our Tape Review Show

Adrian and I hosted Damian in the Radio On studio. We talked with him, he played tapes of his label, some short live bits too.  At the moment the show has still to be edited. It will be re-broadcasted later this year.

I brought him in touch with the person who sets up a series of concerts in Berlin. He did a very nice show.

I supported his label through a couple of retweets, but then suddenly something happened.

I sent out this tweet noch ein paar retweets von der Kenny Lynch Party und ich werde ihm fragen ein rant tape auf zu veröffentlichen.

Another couple of retweets from the Kenny Lynch Party and I will ask him to release a rant tape on staaltape. That’s the translation.

He felt threatened. He thought I wanted to ‘pressure him into silence.’

I wanted something else.


All traces of my tape At Walking Distance have disappeared at the source.

I changed name of the label and the label owner into Spilled Records and Damian.



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Story of a tape…not anymore at walking distance, part 1

1. Hey Rinus,
i just read the Spektrum entry and you are totally right. What a strange evening that must had been! I always felt the way you discribed it when i was setting shows myself for other people (excusing myself for empty venues when nobody would show up because in Berlin there are always a hundred shows a night..) and i also had evenings like you had at Spektrum where the “place” offered me and my co-musicians 2 drinks as payment.. actually the Spectrum thing is a location i don’t even know (maybe for the best) since i left Berlin 4 years ago (i am now in Marseille). But enough of that..
I am filling this contact form because i wanted to ask you – even if you don’t make music 🙂 – if you could think about a possible cassette release on my small diy label operation named SPILLED, you can check out the recent releases on the bandcamp page.
I love what you are doing and writing, i check-in by the blog from time to time and scroll a bit up and down.. the packages are awesome and i am proud to say that SPILLED too always sends out handmade envelopes.. mostly recycled though but always with machine typped artwork on them.. i can send you our two recent tapes and you can have a look at the artwork. I always do A3-size collages and color-copy them, kind of simple but i think they are pretty nice!
Tell me what you think, as of now i just want to propose this to you, no need for a rush, if you have material this is great, if you have no time right now maybe we can sort something out later..
Have a nice weekend and keep me posted, Damian.

2.Spilled 11  is no longer a musical release. Why?

I know that even in this tiny musical niche we’re not free from societys shit and we can’t live outside of the world. But I never thought i would have to say this: Spilled will not tolerate transphobe or homophobe speech, sexism, racism and any other violent expression, verbal or non-verbal. This includes as well the protection of the agressors. Saying: But he is not always like that.. or: There is a conspiracy going on against him.. bullshit!

I want Spilled to be free from hatred; i am happy that i did not published any work by the person i am talking about. We were in contact though and he proposed me some of his stuff; i liked it; it was modern noise music, right down my alley, like they say; i recognized he had tapes out on labels i like myself and with whom i worked for my own musical releases and i told him he can get back to me once he finished the work. Anyway, it never came to any more than talking and planing; he even wrote me a mail saying he gave up on the demo for Spilled.. So why i am so touched by this?

I did actually published a tape by someone else, someone who now tries to protect and discuss away that persons alt-right chauvinist and plain disgusting outings and even tried to pressure me into some sort of silence; i mean it was just by telling me i should stop sending out tweets about it, retweeting some of my favorite labels which had made a clear decision; because hate-speech is a serious thing and has consequences. So he said: If you keep tweeting this I will publish his next tape.. and from that point for me it was clear. Was it just plain provocation? A bad joke? I could not laugh about that.

Misogynist speech and transphobia are not points that can be discussed; like some old saying goes: Transphobia is not an opinion, it’s just wrong! and there is a clear line. If you are in possession of Spilled 11 – which from now on is no longer a musical release; it’s a so-called ‘Misprint’ – keep the tape; do what you want; keep your collection intact; but listen to this band instead:

Thank you for your understanding, i know this is harsh.



Only two days later the statement disappeared from the label’s bandcamp site.

The statement that I copied and pasted here is from now on fiction.

Damian is a fictitious character.

Spilled Records is a fictitious label.

The Spilled 11 link will take you to the staaltape shop.


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Podcasts – Polish Journal 4-9


Report of a short visit to Graz in Austria in May 2017. Fragments of the Nod Now Festival conclude the Journal.


Reports of visits to Vienna, Berlin and Heerlen, while Poland is featured with sounds and descriptions of (parts of) Katowice and Kraków.


Mainly recorded in Kraków. Descriptions of abandoned constructions and impressions of a large demonstration on the main square are among the topics of this report.


The report starts in a house in Krakòw, but soon continues in a small village south of it with descriptions and observations during a walk to and from the next village on which I encounter graveyards, priests, megaphones, sermons, remnants of a polish pope, holy footsteps, mud, wooden houses and traffic noise.
“The only booming industry is catholic tourism.”
The journal finishes with a trip to Amsterdam and the first steps on Dutch soil.


Reports about a walk in the holy land near Lanckorona, 30 km south of Kraków.


Reports about the bus trips I made in one week, going from Kraków to Berlin and back again to Kraków and a last ride to Berlin. You can hear observations from the bus, and thoughts and observations recorded in both cities.


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Podcasts – Polish Journal 1 – 3

My Polish Journals will become available as a podcast.

The first three journals.

1. On this recording you will hear my thoughts and observations as they came, when walking streets or looking at every day life situations.

This first episode of Polish Journal is recorded in Wroclaw in April 2017. Courtyards, prisons, decay, world war II, Breslau vs Wroclaw, second hand clothes are among the topics discussed and described. Chance recordings, live concerts, poets in an anarchist bar and fragments of private life complete the journal.

I used a Sony Cassette Walkman for the recordings. Your digitally refined ears might have some difficulties with the sound quality. Somewhere you can hear me say that Wroclaw is on the river Wisla. This is a mistake. It lies on the Odra.



2. The second volume of the Polish Journal covers the period from the end of April to the beginning of May 2017. Holding a cassette walkman I describe street scenes and views in Wroclaw. I observe life in an inner courtyard. I recorded occasional meetings, fragments from an evening out in a bar. Bus stations and shopping centers are visited, Polish Flag Day and an American in Krakow talking about Indian Bananas ended up on this tape as well..

All the time you will hear background noises from traffic, trams or people.



3. The third Polish journal is recorded in May 2017. I used a handheld Sony walkman and recorded my observations directly on tape. You will hear home recordings made in Kraków and a walk to a square of chairs in the former Jewish ghetto. I sit on the terrace and describe the garden.

A shift in time takes the recording to Wroclaw, where I sit on the sidewalk while the girlfriend is cycling around to do the last preperations before the bus departs.

Suddenly I am alone in Warsaw to apply for a new passport. I describe walks and the difficulties I encounter at the Dutch Embassy. Prior to my trainride back home I kill time around the ex-Stalin building in the very center.

The journal ends with an advert to buy the actual tape that this report was recorded on. It is a 35 year old Basf C90, that still had the smell of the package it was kept in all those years.



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